Making Peace

“Real, sane, mature love — the kind that pays the mortgage year after year and picks up the kids after school — is not based on infatuation but on affection and respect.” Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

As I lay at home with a mild case of H1N1 and my large print edition (it was the only one not on hold at the library until March) of “Committed. A skeptic makes peace with marriage,” I was struck by how much there is that I need to make peace with in regards to marriage, and relationships in general.  This is interesting because I have parents that are about to (happily) celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary, grandparents who were evidently in love even after one had passed, and a handful of happily married friends.  For some reason, though, I can’t shake the uneasy feeling that long-term committment gives me.  “Committed” only seemed to cause that uneasy feeling to grow.  Although I was captivated, and able to get through in just 2 days, I’m still a bit baffled as to how, given all of the information in the book, Elizabeth Gilbert was able to make peace with marriage.  I suppose that our anxieties are quite different, and what comforts her really has little to do with my own fears.  I suppose also that being on the new end of what very well may be a life-long relationship gives me a set of anxieties and fears that are quite specific to my current situation.  It may have been a quick read, but it certainly wasn’t an easy one.

For the first time in ages I filled a book with post-it notes and went back to reread.  I questioned my own beliefs about marriage and fidelity.  I was able to step out of  a place of infatuation for the briefest of seconds and look at what might be a very good relationship.  It’s not everyday a book can do that.

-Cara

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Filed under Relationships, women

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